11 September 2013

The Tino Katsande Sex Tape : Throw The First Stone

Let me first start by saying I don't think sex tapes are a good idea. Before you get all hot and bothered, no I do not have one this is simply from my vantage point as a Computer Scientist where we have the mantra when it comes to personal privacy: digital is forever. Recording some things should be one of those decisions you take after a long and considered think about it, especially recording and then storing the said recording on a phone. Next time Tino, please come to me and I will show you a few encryption techniques which will keep your sensitive documents away from the blaring headlines of tabloids. Or better yet just buy the new iPhone 5S which comes with a fingerprint scanner. (Hint to my readers, I want one for Christmas!)

Second of all, as much as I hate tabloids (they are to high brow journalistic publications like the New York Times what Jackass: The Movie is to The Lord of the Rings in the land of movies) I really can't be surprised by the latest headlines screaming about Tino's Sextape. As long as people know that this sort of things sell newspapers, we will inevitably have to live with them. And keep trying to walk past their grimy headlines and lust for the baser proclivities of humanity whether it be The Sowetan in Johannesburg, the American National Enquirer in New York or the dreaded H-Metro in Harare. We hate you, but like mosquito's, we have to live with you.
What I really take exception to in this entire scenario is the reaction of many of my fellow Zimbabweans on the web. People have found the time and energy to digest this story and come up with the most amazing vitriol and musings, judgements and damning attacks, mockery and sarcastic humour of such low level depths it is positively evil. Tino has been attacked by the know it alls who claim she leaked it on purpose to get onto Big Brother, or that she just wanted something to boost her career (as if being a radio DJ on Zimbabwean National Radio was a position that needed that extra boost of prominence a sex tape would bring) or that she just loves attention. I do not know if all that is true, I admit it all could be true or contain elements of the truth but the thing here is: neither do all of you. Tino has said her phone was stolen. Period. Why not take her at her word? Why feel the need to judge her motivations and to analyse the character and motivations of a person you have never met?

And that word judge bothers me a lot here. The judgement is going around in heavy doses. The Bible bangers are taking out their dusty bibles to drum them for all who have ears to hear, the moral high grounders are sitting in their ivory towers casting judgement with their upturned noses. "Look what this Tino is doing", "This is not Zimbabwean", they cry in horrified voices. "This is not African", they say as they sweep up their skirts in outrage. The ones who have really big brushes prefer to lay the blame wide and thick, "Look at these youths of today! The horror!" Others attack her personally: "She is stupid", "What did she think would happen", and yet the last group that really gets to me even go so far as to attack the tape itself: "The tape was boring she should have done ABC in it" (I will leave ABC to your vivid imagination dear reader!)

What I want to say, is shut the fuck up! First of all, this is the Zimbabwe of today. Your children are sending such videos, your husbands are probably watching such videos. Deal with it in a constructive manner instead of denying it all as unAfrican, unZimbabwean, unwhatever-group-of-angels-you-belong-to. This is what Zimbabweans do all the time, we deny that something exists and then pretend it just happened this once and whoever did it was an abberation of nature. Well I have news for you, Tino is a Zimabwean and Zimbabweans are humans. Humans do things like making sextapes. How you choose to deal with it is another matter but don't bury your head in the sand. The H-Metro is full of stories of boys raping goats or men being found stuck to chickens. Never have I seen someone try to create an awareness campaign to try to stop it happening or try to educate people on the dangers of bestiality. Instead they snigger and laugh.

In France I have seen pamphlets made by the government (government logo and all) go into great detail about the dangers and effects of drugs like cocaine and ecstasy and the risks of unprotected sex. I have followed debates as they try to make sense of whatever latest scandal or tragedy befalls them, or simply shrug it off as just one of those things. And as the continent with 60% of the worlds' population living with HIV/AIDS compared to the highest in Europe of 1.2% in Estonia perhaps we can stop with the sniggering and realise that we are all human, we are all in this together.

Tino is just human people. She made a mistake (and when I say mistake I mean putting sensitive information on an unsecure device not making the tape itself). A mistake that seem to have cost her job and who knows what else on a personal level. She has apologised for it on Facebook to basically the whole world, even though to be quite honest it was none of our business to begin with and remains as such. So before you climb on your moral high horses and go gallopping into the sunset, give her a break! She was the victim of a crime, people should be demanding justice for her, not asking for her to be deported. And while we are at it: I would like to lay a challenge to all the puritans out there: show us the contents of your laptops, your hardrives, your Facebook inboxes and your Whatsapp messenger inboxes. If they are as clean as Pope Francis' snow white cassock, then and only then do we give you permission to speak. To paraphrase Jesus: he who has no need to put a password on their phone's inboxes, let him throw the first tweet.

I rest my case.

If you agree with me, hit the share buttons, if not, hit the comment one!


  1. you could not have put this better, hear hear!

  2. Well said, definately none of our business!!!

  3. But how can u say sh made a mistake,she knew wat she was doing thats why she was even smilling at the camera,then you call that a mistake?plzzzzzz people dont insult our intelligence we know a mistake when we see one.when something is wrong its wrong dont candy-coat it whether its done by me or you or a frand or my daughter its wrong.full stop.

    1. When I say mistake I mean simply the mistake of putting such sensitive information on an unsecure device. I am not judging her decision to make a tape for her own private consumption and the whole point of the article is that no one else should. Let her smile as she has sex, I hear most people do. How that is wrong, I really fail to see.

  4. wats ABC by the way? Aerobics? Tru dat - tape was a big yawn - kukotsirisa chaiko...